so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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