I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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