Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
