If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He shit in the fireplace
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize