Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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