you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
