Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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