Say something about gay babies.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
