Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
