Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize