apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How external is "for external use only"?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
