Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
