there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
