I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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