I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
