some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
