Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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