You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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