Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
