He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
