i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
