you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
