his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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