he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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