The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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