Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's rum buckets o'clock
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize