She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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