I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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