Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
