everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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