the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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