Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
