First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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