Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
