If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize