I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
