dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
