maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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