What did we do last night that was yellow?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
