Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
