so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
