What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
