I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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