You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
