ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
