I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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