Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
