I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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