People with herpes should wear stickers.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize