I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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