last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
