It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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