btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
