He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
