is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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