Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
