I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize