from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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