I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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