so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
