I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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