We're like a lot better than the average bears
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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