we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Randomize
