I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
