I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
