it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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