He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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