The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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